My c section story Part. 1

My pregnancy was pretty easy. I had no morning sickness, no pains.I past my glucose test with flying colors. I had a hard time sleeping at the end but honestly, no complaints. When I reached 35 or so weeks, there was a concern on the growth scan if the placenta was giving the baby enough food, so I had a few NST scans and all seemed well! I went for an ultrasound Dec 23rd, 2013 and the growth wasn’t where they wanted it to be so they decided to induce me. I was 37 weeks, 2 days-full term. I was set in my room with the pitocin flowing from about 11am. By 8 pm that night, with the highest dose  given to me and I maybe dialated 2 cm. My ob came in and discussed an emergency c section. She explained I could wait but this baby wasn’t coming anytime soon and she made it very obvious how she didn’t want to deliver my child in the early hours of the morning or even later for that fact. (Hey, she had vacation and a plane to catch I’m sure) It was Christmas eve and there was an overall rushed feeling being in that hospital. I made my decision, around 9pm was going to be “Baby time”. I was loaded on pain meds so I hardly felt a thing. I remember before going into the surgery, my husband getting into his scrubs, I think the idea of wearing them made him so proud !

Natalie Grace Chevalier entered the world at 9:57 pm that Monday night weighing 5 pounds, 7 ounces-19inches long. My miracle was here. I was taken to the maternity room and held my little girl with family surrounding me. I was blessed. I had to stay overnight on that floor because my urine output was not enough and I remember feeling very tired and i had a slight cough. What was happening, were the first signs of sepsis.

The next morning my legs were very swollen, and it was so hard to get in and out of bed. I figured this is what a c section is. My output was still low and I had to remain on the labor and delivery floor. I had a rotation of dr’s since it was Christmas week. I started to get the chills really bad, I kept asking for heated blankets, That cold- I will never forget. I finally had enough urine to be moved to the maternity floor. They moved me to a room that seemed super narrow so I asked to be relocated. The chills were so intense i started to cry I knew something was not right. I kept asking the nurses why am I so cold…I was putting the heat higher and higher yet no relief. I received the answer of “You just had a baby, your hormones are not balanced, you may have a little bit of baby blues” (ya,sure) I tried to believe them because that’s what every nurse said and I never had a baby before so who I am to jump on their words. I started having rapid breathing (another tell tale sign of sepsis) they said I was having a panic attack gave me some oxygen and a Ativan. I never took medication for anxiety or depression in my life but that day I did because I did not have the knowledge and apparently-the dr’s didn’t either. Tuesday continued on with the hardship of even moving, the rapid heartbeat and those chills. Wednesday played out the same, more intense but I was just a lady that had a section. I’ll get over it.

Wednesday night almost Thursday early am a nurse recgonized that my urine was smelling awful and took my temperature, go figure- a fever. They finally decided that maybe I had a uti so they took urine culture and blood. It turned out I had e coli, staph (MSSA) and my panus was red- I had cellulitis. I had a bug in my blood and antibiotics would fight it as one of the rotating dr explained. I could tell he was nervous. I was crying, missing my home and my husband would come all day and sleep home at night. He was angry because they let this go on without really looking at why I was so ill.  The swollen limbs, horrific chills, foul urine- all symptoms ignored.  I remember resting in my bed and ordering something to drink and not having the energy to get up and sip some- I just stared at the can. It was a very lonely time even though I had my husband and family visitors, the whole experience was just eerie. Of course I loved my new baby but there were times I couldn’t have her in my arms and Jed would take over or I would send her back with the nurse because I felt so weak. I also tried breast feeding before i found out I was truly sick and the lactation nurses really wanted me to do it but I just couldn’t.

I was crying from being so sick and the rapid breathing. They took blood samples again and the nurse was so mean, I literally could not not move since my body was filled with fluid-maybe 25 pounds of it. The nurse asked me to turn from one side to another and I was trying so hard and she was getting impatient. I yelled listen I can’t help it lady! The hospital was so worried about their delay that they had a psych speak to me to make sure I wasn’t suicidal or harmful to my child because I was crying and had the chills. It was as if they still wanted to go off the fact I was hormonal and had some form of depression rather then the truth- that it was truly the sepsis I was physically and emotionally suffering from.  I remember the psych wrote down good historian and had mild postpartum but ya thats what the medical profession has to do when they make an error. Thankful for my long memory because I wouldn’t be as detailed right now as I am:) Thursday finished with the usual symptoms trying to rest and spending time with my husband. Once I found out I had staph I told people not to come. Friday came along and the DR. said I would go home on IV. I was super excited to take my daughter home and be in my own bed and recover. Only the bug in my blood was just the beginning of my journey. I am going to stop here and will post the rest of my story soon. I hope so far you can understand how surgery leading to infection is very serious. You have to be our own advocate. Please check back for the second part of my entry.

<3Lainey

Never say never -whatever you do.

My Fertility Story<3

I wanted to blog about this because I feel as though women keep this topic hush hush because they are embarrassed when in reality theres nothing to be embarrassed by because it’s happening and it’a real and it can be helped.

I found out in Sept 2012 that I had a low ovarian reserve- which means I did not have a lot of eggs and needed to get the baby train moving. In April of 2012 I had my first IUI and I became pregnant but it was ectopic and had went into my tube. I took 2 shots of methotrexate to end it, and it was very upsetting. I had to get an HSG which puts dye into the fallopian tubes and sees if it runs clearly through to make sure there are no blockages that would prevent pregnancy. I had one done March right before my IUI and all was clear. This time there seemed to be blockages and expansion of the left tube from the ectopic. It was devastating. The dr began to talk to me about IVF and the possibility of a donor egg because of my low reserve. IVF is much more invasive and expensive. I decided it had to wait and I would focus on working and the gym. In January of 2013 I began acupuncture, My good friend Lauren from Rhode Island always spoke highly of it and told me to try community style. This type of setting would do about 5-8 people a time and it was 20.00 per session. I became pregnant naturally the very end of April. I was completely blown  away. We had to make sure it was not ectopic again since it came from the left tube like my last pregnancy but the symptoms I had this time were different. I had to have an ultrasound and see where it implanted and here’s the silver lining: It was in my uterus and the tech also said my tubes looked clear!!! I was amazed. The dr was too at the visit before he couldn’t get over it, as his face grew closer and closer to the monitor he said ” you keep surprising me. ”

I had an estimated date of delivery of January 11th 2014 . I had my daughter 3 weeks early on December 23rd, 2013 one day shy of Christmas Eve. I had a section and that is a story of it’s own and will share that in a separate post. Natalie is almost 14 months and she is truly our blessing.

I learned that even medical professionals just don’t know. You cannot give up and you must not live in the stress, you must focus on the positive and live your life. Hope wins.

<3Lainey

Nineteen

When I was 19 yrs old, I lost my father. I was in my first year of college, Second semester. My father was having respiratory issues and I understood he was sick, but I didn’t realize how serious it was. I didn’t blame my mother, I know that she wanted me to do well in school and not have the worry that she was probably holding inside….but ofcourse I was so confused.

It was a Tuesday, March 18th, of 2002 the night before I came home late from school, working at a daycare and then seeing friends. I went right to sleep. In the morning I went to say hello to my dad before I left for my morning class, Sociology. My mother stood by their bedroom door and said quietly “I don’t think you should go to school today” Now, at first I thought something like a terrorist attack happened since New York was hit only months ago and why would MY MOM not want me to go to class?! My mother asked me to go into the room and she said “Elaine I want you to be brave” “Daddy was really sick and he passed away last night.  He had a heart attack.” I was real quiet at first and then I was overwhelmed with shock and sadness all mixed into one. I replied “Nooooo” I was gone most of that Monday when my father started to have chest pains, He was sent down to the city but suffered a massive heart attack that night. My mother didn’t tell me when I walked in that evening because I immediatley ran to bed and wanted me to have rest before she had to share such terrible news. Ofcourse, I was angry that she didn’t wake me, but I understood that she also needed the time to prepare herself. On that Tuesday, family came to see me. My mother began the funeral arrangements. I could see my mother was just overcome with grief. She lost her partner and I lost my pop. Funeral services were held in the Bronx and my father was buried at Gate of Heaven.March 22nd 2002, my father was laid to rest, my parents wedding anniversary. My mother was crying as the coffin was being lowered. It really felt like a dream. I always looked at my father as someone who was untouchable. When I was a teenager, I had my own phone line and I would be on it very late. I remember one time, I was on the phone and my father knocked on the door and politely said, “Ok you have school  tomorrow, call it a night” The phone was under my pillow with the person still on it. I whispered “You still there” I than heard my father say “Yes, I am here, now get offf that phonnne” It still makes me laugh because he was so aware of my wannabe slick moves. I was supposed to go away to college that first year I decided to do one year locally and then go away the following but my mom needed me so I finished near home. After of a few months of my father passing away I developed anxiety, panic attacks. I began to talk to someone about it, which greatly helped me and I was able to control them. People will say Time heals all. I don’t think you are ever healed, you learn to deal with your grief, but the tears always come every now and again but with time, comes alot of smiles….The remembering is part of the process, all the good memories, even the bad make you shake your head with delightful amazement. I met my now husband of 5 yrs in 2003, a chance meeting, really. A friend of mine asked to come over and he happen to tag along. We instantly liked each other. Jed drove big cars just like my father and enjoyed the same music. I like to think that my father sent him to me and attached with Jed was a small part of himself. Jed and I married on my fathers bday June 16th. (2008)  I am very greatful for the life I have, a wonderful husband, a beautiful home. I have a great relationship with my mother. My father always told me “You’re mother is your best friend” He was so right. I am 29 now and Sunday marks 10 years that my father has passed, It’s been a decade of loss, love and making my way in this world. I love you pop, I will carry you in my heart always.

It Starts with One

Thanks for stopping by. This is my very first post EVER…I always wanted to blog and share my thoughts ..but procrastination creeps in and well..I never made it happen:/ So what will I write about. -MANY THINGS.

My blog site is titled under TastingRaindrops…Let me explain why.

When I was a sophmore in High School, I wrote a short story titled “Tasting Raindrops” and I loved the meaning behind my story so it became attached to my *online world* The meaning of “Tasting Raindrops” is to live life, and to fully experience what it offers to you. We all have tasted raindrops, some days sweeter than others-But with the sour come defining moments.  I am keeping this blog short but much more to come. It’s a beautiful day here in New York, I am going  take in some Vitamin D:)

xo Lainey